Unsafe Containers

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Any book that you continue to think about, long after you’ve finished it.. is an amazing book. One such book is “The lies we told” by Diane Chamberlain. If you like reading about human emotions and relationships, I highly recommend this book. It explores sibling bonds, the yearning to have your own biological child, the lengths to which one can go to save a marriage, and a very powerful emotion, fear.  The highlight of one of the main characters, Maya, is her deep rooted fears. Mainly the fear of losing a loved one (her sister, husband, her yet-to-born child). The fear has shaped her personality, and influenced each of her decisions, be it the choice of career or her choice of life partner.

While thinking about Maya and her decisions, I came across this daily prompt – Unsafe Containers. Which emotion do I find the most difficult to contain? Undoubtedly, it is fear. Specifically, the fear of failure, the fear of being ridiculed. Fear is not like anger or jealousy, that makes one take impulsive decisions or say things they may regret later. But, according to me, it is a more powerful emotion than others. It makes you take decisions, based solely on fear. The fear becomes so much a part of you, that its difficult to view or understand a situation separately from the fear!

Should I learn driving? No, what if I bang the car? Or worse, Kill someone? I’ll manage with public transport. I fail to see how un-safe public transport in India can be.

Should I cook a three course meal for my visiting in-laws? No, what if it is not to their taste? What if they hate the food? I fail to see how sweet and fun-loving my in-laws are, and also the fact that in two years of marriage they have never belittled me.

Should I expand my business? No, what if I mess it all up? I fail to see that my work is very much appreciated by my clients and that the chances for my business expansion being successful are pretty high.

My life has become a constant struggle against my fear of failure / rejection. I spend years dealing with the issue, slowly opening the lid of the unsafe containers. Friends and relatives tell me that its a lack of self confidence that’s the problem. I agree. I lack self confidence due to the inherent fears, and the lack of self confidence feeds those fears. So, its a vicious circle 🙂

I’m learning to overcome them slowly, with the loving support of my husband and family. Will I be able to contain it? Follow this space to know!

What about you? Which is the emotion you find most difficult to contain?

 

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